4.04.2010

兒童節

(攝於 Tulip Festival 2008)
年時常常伺機在今天向父親央求購買玩具。「是國際兒童節啊﹗」年輕的我振振有詞﹐是個不折不扣的小陰謀家。父親素來心軟﹐從不像持家有道的母親那末懂得斬釘截鐵地說「不」﹐是以我和姐姐在四月初常有意外收穫。那時候會誤將「愛」和「玩具」混為一談﹐不明白父母的愛每天都在四周滲透﹐不只在破費買玩具那一刻。一個簡單卻溫暖的家庭﹐每天一家人七點鐘風雨不改整整齊齊地同檯吃晚飯。單只這些﹐看似等閒﹐卻代表了父母每天不為人知的努力。年少的時候懵然不懂﹐出來社會謀事後才慢慢明白內裡的苦心孤詣。

父母最近在季節交迭之時身體抱恙﹐幸而兩個星期過後總算緩緩康復。昨天在姐姐家歡度復活節﹐她還請了我們的姨母姨父。姨母的兒子及媳婦(即我表兄嫂)仍在香港﹐去年在國內領養了一個初生女嬰。閒聊時姨母問我會不會也「弄」一個。我說﹕每天工作時間太長﹐連一頭小狗都「不敢」在家飼養﹐別說小孩子了。

其實在許多年前我和T也談論過領養這個問題。T比我更很喜歡小孩子﹐因兩名外甥女的關係﹐也有帶養小孩的實戰經驗。只是我們十分「習慣」目前的生活﹕在辦公室拼搏﹐下班的時候做健身打羽毛球﹐生活規律鬆弛﹐甚麼都不必計劃周詳﹐即興隨意便可。當彼此都渴望得到養育小孩子的樂趣﹐卻不一定能作好改變生活現狀的準備﹐暫時我們還是流於理想空談的一派。今天仍然沉醉於《伊索寓言》裡草蜢般吃喝揮霍的生活﹐很難說明天我們會否積極起來。身邊一些朋友三年抱兩﹐也有不少結婚多年都沒有小孩子。各人自有愜意生活的定義﹐緣法不一﹐各有前因莫羨人。

東方人有「養兒防老」的傳統觀念﹐我對這個說法不敢苟同。總覺得小孩子不應是父母一份條文分明的保險或一項回報率高風險低的投資計劃。當然﹐小孩子長大了對父母回哺照顧是天職﹐實屬份內。然而當父母子女的關係目的性太強﹐利益衝突太厲害﹐那就沒有什麼意義。父母子女的親情統統都是相互修來的福氣﹐一切但憑天地良心。世上沒有把情理衡量得分毫不差的天秤。付出回報不成比例是唯一的遊戲規則。

但願天下家長能給予孩子溫飽、安定、關注、忠誠、信任、耐性、導育、鼓勵、歡笑、愛心……。這是兒童節最理想不過的禮物。真的﹐孩子是我們的未來。就不在這裡播放《Greatest Love Of All》了。

13 comments:

Coffee n Tea said...

>>將「愛」和「玩具」混為一談

嘿嘿,誰說不是呢!

naruto said...

你唔講都唔記左兒童節

best actor said...

coffee n tea:

無錯。細佬仔係玩具﹐大人呢﹐亦有好多好多o野可以同愛混為一談。

naruto:

祝你兒童節快樂啦﹗

naruto said...

大家咁話。。。:)

我係冰河

best actor said...

我係一輝﹐但我細佬唔係喊包。

Leo said...

與其領養不如學下神奇馬丁吖!

大家都兒童節快樂呀!

best actor said...

Leo:

哈哈﹐人地大明星係孖仔套餐﹐真係包生仔架。
呢個世界上有好多細佬女無人理﹐如果我地真係認真準備好﹐領養比較合適D。

兒童節快樂!!

shangri_la said...

愛情也是付出回報不成比例, but that never stop people from falling in love.

On the other hand, it depends on how you see as 'return'. Raising a kid sure will have to make personal sacrifice, but being able to take care of and nuture someone is a personal growth itself. To give is as much a return as to take. If one doesn't understand this, one never really understands what love means

best actor said...

shangri_la:

when it is a personal commitment, it is not really a sacrifice. of course, taking that leap of faith requires some soul searching.

i still don't understand what love really means, but that doesn't stop me from loving others.same goes with life. live and let live. :o)

galaxy said...

新一代的應該唔會有「養兒防老」的老思想了。
我見有養「金波囉」的心態居多。
而我 ?! 只願他們生生性性做個好人, 有生命/生存力便滿足了。

best actor said...

被養成金波蘿的小孩子﹐長大後都難免自我中心。
很贊成﹐只願小孩子健健康康﹐生生性性﹐其他都是多寶彩金。

微豆 Haricot said...

Committing to become a parent is like skiing down a double black-diamond. One can:
* contemplate and look at it for a long time (with nothing happening);
* change your mind and turn back (with possibility of revisiting); or
* take the plunge!!!

best actor said...

Haricot,

I really like your analogies. Taking the plunge would work, and many many did succeed before. Having that said, one needs a lot of courage and confidence to do so! ;o)

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