當你烈焰焚身

久聞David Sedaris 的大名﹐直至最近才拜讀他的著作﹐可說相逢恨晚。Sedaris 是一名幽默大師﹐尤喜自嘲﹐其風趣啜核的筆觸﹐文藻細膩入微﹐謔而不虐﹐令人不時發出會心微笑。《When You Are Engulfed In Flames》是他的第六部作品﹐2008年出版﹐內裡包括了二十二篇文章﹐有些根據自己的生活/日記為題材﹐有一些則是完全杜撰煞有介事﹐各自各精彩。

相比他在去年出版的成人動物童話寓言《Squirrel seeks Chipmunk》﹐這部《When You Are Engulfed In Flames》的黑色幽默算是點到即止。文集的封面《抽煙的髑髏》乃是梵高早期的作品﹐和書中提及到作者的生死觀﹐一件送贈給他的配偶的聖誕禮物﹐及他在日本戒煙的經驗﹐彼此呼應。

在云云的文章中我比較喜歡﹕《Keeping Up》 — 關於作者的配偶健步如飛的趣事﹐諷刺中流露溫情﹔《The Understudy》 — 關於作者的父母外遊﹐兄弟姊妹誤落奇人之手﹐令人捧腹的童年往事﹔《What I Learned》— 作者應邀在普林斯頓大學作出的結業致辭﹐妙語連珠﹔《That's Amore》 — 關於紐約大廈鄰居海倫的故事﹐人海際遇千奇百怪﹐匪夷所思﹔《Town and Country》 — 以自嘲手法﹐作者一語道破那些眼高於頂自命格調高雅的人其實一般庸俗﹔《Momento Mori》 — 關於死亡的圓舞曲﹔《Crybaby》 — 關於笑中帶淚的人生﹔還有《The Smoking Section》 — 關於作者戒煙的點滴記趣。  
 
以下是這部文集出版的時候﹐作者在《David Letterman & The Tonight Show》綜合節目中朗讀作品的片段﹐短短四分鐘足以反映文集的整體節奏和輕鬆佻皮的風格﹕

另外節錄一些爽脆的哲言﹐公諸同好﹕

• 關於罪孽﹕"Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto."
    
• 關於商務客艙﹕"The looks they gave me as they passed by were the looks I give when the door of a limousine opens.  You always expect to see a movie star, or, at the very least, someone better dressed than you, but time and time again it's just a sloppy nobody.  Thus the look which translates to, F**k you, Sloppy Nobody, for making me turn my head."
   
• 關於同志﹕"It's astonishing the amount of time that certain straight people devote to gay sex - trying to determine what goes where and how often. They can't imagine any system outside their own, and seem obsessed with the idea of roles, both in bed and out of it. Who calls whom a bitch? Who cries harder when the cat dies? Which one spends the most time in the bathroom? I guess they think that it's that cut-and-dried, though of course it's not. Hugh might do the cooking, and actually wear an apron while he's at it, but he also chops the firewood, repairs the hot-water heater, and could tear off my arm with no more effort than it takes to uproot a dandelion."
   
• 關於動物園﹕"A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at."
   
• 關於快樂﹕"Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it."
   
• 關於死亡﹕"I'd always thought that I understood this, but lately I realize that what I call "understanding" is basically just fantasizing."